FPC - card check

[bentech]

its nice
its the weekend
i could a couple day to
pull myself together
back to

where im

bathed fed and draped
nice enough

to pass among you all

heh

[bentech]

one of the weirds
about getting shot up
is how it sticks with you

bullets are such little things
when i thing of them
i get these visions and feeling
of steel rods
like rebar

coursing through me

when i get upset
suddenly

im subject to feeling dozens of them
shooting through me


quite the jarring experience

it takes a few second
and you wake up and look at whom ever you were talking to
and you wonder what it looked like for them
to see you go through it

[bentech]

there will be wise been praying
and singing songs

there will be wise men prays
just getting along

there will be wise men

but youll hardly noticed them

thats the deal

[bentech]

bolts is the best words
half in in diameter
couple feet long
flying like the wind

suddenly

a bunch of them hit you
fly through your body

boom isnt even really the word

they leave trails of your blood and tissue they have liberated from your body

its forms this guyser
then this cloud

you probably havnt even managed to colaspe onto the ground you were stand on
before that really gets it up

if you had anything you ever wanted to say out loud

youve missed your chance

[bentech]

i started coming to my senses about 10 or 12 days after the event
was still in icu
but was starting to wake up

at that point
i was making the round of the detains of being in dire strait in the hospital

x rays and cat scans etc

and all these services have people there who job it is
day in and day out
to do that

started hearing parts of my story

"good to see yo!!!"
"last time you were here... you bled all over my smocks!"

oh,
heres a good one,
yall might appreciate

one tech or nurse put his hand on my shoulder
told me

" you were talking crazy"

they gave me 10 units of blood that first days
4 the next

the surgeon
who sewed me up
told the family i was about as good as dead

somehow
i just didnt kiss off

i have no memory of this stuff
i didnt start waking up for a couple weeks

i got these strange memories that kinda shoot through the whole experience

but i wasnt conscious meaningfully for weeks

[bentech]

i remember
i used to think of it as some house of cards

my job was to pick up
200 bags of cement
and walk them up the hill 500 feet

ok
i can do that

and i did
and the years went buy

i got strong
and disiplined

[bentech]

stare at yourself
take a real good look
what do you see?

[bentech]

i did it once
just once

jumped off the east side of el cap

chute on my back

its a big cliff
that sorta makes it safe

the guy really into it
have a keen interest it jumping off
little things

so close to the ground
there no room for mistake

a big cliff give you some wiggle room

heh
jeez

so you fall a bit
thrown the drown out
its this bit of cloth
designed to catch the air
and drag the rest of you chute out
deploy it

when you chute deploys
it catches the air
and your forward momentum is radically
altered

first thing

make sure your not pointed at the cliff
the chute
its a canopy
and its steerable

you got these hand togs

dont fucking hit the cliff

that accomplished
your just down to dont hit any trees
and dont break your legs

then you hit the ground

and now

your jobs to wrap all that material into a ball
best you can
and not get arrested

as you run for the car waiting for you

there was a bunch of us
it was a van

i crammed in

there was a beer waiting

one of the nights of my life

[bentech]

i actually carwheeled head over heels several times

your not supposed to do that

but day
yall know me

feet together
arms outstretched

and in that pose
i turned a good two cartwheels

the noise the wind makes
changes
as your body changes it orientation
as it flys along

[bentech]

been years now
but in the past

i realized i could really scream my heart out
to much greater effect
if i just did it in my head