Tokalot VI

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Post by deran »

kind of a poll, as im pondering about a psychological question, and i need your views on that matter ...

so, im an altruist, "only happy if i can help someone" , i mean i really am, as most of you know me for more than 10 years ... ok, knowing is somewhat questionable lol, but you get the point, im often helping ppl with my inputs
so i can slip into the role of the egoist, "playing that dirty game" as i want to call that this way

my poll question is (as you all already assumed)

is the egoist able to become an altruist, "playing that safe game"?

or is it just an intelligent borderliner manipulating the shit out of you?

:confused:
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Post by Intrinsic »

Good day Deren.


Kind of an old thought: is there really a selless Act.
If you obtain Joy from it yourself got satisfied, hence not selfless. Taxi and Friends had episodes on it.

There's an idea of thought of there are sheep and there are Sheepdogs. Forcing your help and protection is that altruistic?

But since we actually questioning the phenomenon then at least in a pedestrian sense altruism exist.

Letting someone think they've been selfless to you. Is that being altruistic letting 'em have the joy of altruism.

I procrastinate I have to go print some maps...
Last edited by Intrinsic on Tue May 11, 2021 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Intrinsic »

Perhaps altruism and selfishness are really the same phenomenon. We can't see it because of our Limited dimensionality, we seem to limit ourselves to 11 dimensions, or 3, or under quark theory 7.
Always a prime number. Coincidence??

Well let me try again.
Yes,
Good, evil, they're both fine choices.
Which is no help. :bong4:

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Post by bentech »

always figured it was altruism that keeps me from revealing the degree of my ego to most everyone...


but it does make life easy in a whole lot of ways

flying under the radar is good...
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Post by deran »

pregabalin / lyrica

so its my first time in life, that i got diagnosed with following issue:

polyneuropathical pain

to all folks not knowing what it is, its a lesion of a nerve, the nerve is damaged or even cut off, and it regenerates, meaning - while its growing back again, you get "funny" sensations ...

imagine that somebody is using a fire torch, a bunsen burner, a big one, that is aimed at your foot ( i mean i can barely touch my own foot, the slightest touch hurts like a mofo, and by that i mean a butterfly shouldnt land on my foot as it feels like a ton of weight) and is torching up every square cm thats around, while somebody else is poking metal needles trough your foot, that are connected to power source, electrical power source, with a high voltage of some 400 volts, nothing steady, but unplanned ticks and burst, on a scale from 0 - 10 its an 8-9 around , having had a trigeminus neuralgy (also called suicide pain) which is a 10 on the scale ...

i couldnt sleep for 3 days, as i couldnt put a blanket on me, as any touch hurt, i had to keep my leg the whole time up in the air, not touching anything else; also bc of that i couldnt eat anything ...
this shit happened on the 6th this month, so nearly a month ago ...
went to my doc, actually he made a visit to me, as i was tied to the wheelchair ... somehow funny, as i laughed in the beginning like - wow , that just cant be true, lol, this must be a dream and im gonna wake up... my complete nerve was destroyed , the ischias thingy, meaning my leg was litterally dead - feelwise from the nerves, and so it had to grow back, the neurology doc told me its growing about 1cm per day, and it has about 60cms to grow, with other words - 2 months all in all
i didnt expected this, but on the 4th day i got this neuropathical pain, and from there on, all went to shit and worse, but i looked into my mail box, and guess what i found, my doc put lyrica into the mailbox, some 6 blisters of 75mg pregabalin, and what i swallowed, had to eat 8 pills to keep the pain manageable , it went down from an 8/9 to a 2/3 ... what a relief, today i went again to him to get a recipe, he was wondering about it "but mr d, i gave you some a week ago?" , so i updated him, telling him, that neuropathical pain is treated in the range of 300mg - 600mg; so he didnt gave me a recipe, no, he had 5 blisters of 300mg in his praxis, so i was lucky not having to pay the apothecary fees , and bc they dont have any at hand when you need em, they have to order some, meaning i would have had to wait until 5pm and to pay additional 5 euros bc of ordering, which is stressful, i didnt swallowed any pill at all, as i took some 200mg at 10 am, and i wanted to wait until the pain sets in... and guess what, i had 11 hours of no pain at all, i was able o walk around without crutches ... everyday a bit more, actually, every second day, as i have to take a day off resting my leg as it hurts even more due to the struggle walking and moving and stressing the whole mofo leg ...

im so thankful, i was crying of happiness when the pain went away, i called my doc and thanked him so much, dear doc i could sleep, i could eat, i could stress the leg and use it, meaning walk around, thank you so much, from the deepest corner inside my mind and heart ...

this molecule is really helpful, but you shouldnt forget that its working on the GABA system inside the brain, yes dear folks, thats where alcohol docks on, thats where all the benzos dock on, even the K.O. knockout drips (GHB/GBL) dock there on, and a plethora of anti depressants and neuroleptics do that too; with other words beware of addiction and dependence....
im aware of that, and i dont plan to use this molecule for a prolonged time, only the timeframe of 2 months
its not psychoactive nor does it have any mean side effects (tho it can be for some, im lucky not having any of those

my plan is, to walk around like a normal person, i got an appointment on the 5th of july again at the hospital where the neurology doc is, and i have to bring back the wheelchair, which i "borrowed", them not know it, and not allowing it, the docs said i would have to lay for a few days in the hospital for monitoring, so i said to them in the nicest possible way "fuck off, im wheeling home, this place is depressing me and i simply cant stand any stay at the hospital, i told this also to the doc ... whats the goal having me here, they had no answer ... like i knew it lol

its actually frightening, bc of corona, nobody is allowed to enter the hospital, the hospital is like one in a zombie movie, i wheeled through 3 floors and 4 different wings at 9pm, nobody, rly NOBODY was around ( i mean i got a bit paranoid bc of the stolen wheelchair, that somebody could have stopped me and taking away my wheelchair, my only tool for movement, i was relieved, me being the only one in this complex ... that was scary like in a zombie movie ....
it was my first time in my life that i was using a wheelchair , and i didnt had the control i should, as a bus did nearly hit me in front the entrance as i didnt knew nothing about those brakes ... lol .... the bus took me home, and i got the special treatment, the bus driver loaded me into the bus and unloaded me at my stop


last year, whenh i broke my left leg, that was a piece of nothingness compared to this pain i got this year on the right leg n foot

looking at all my history, one makes em wonder:

"whats next? whats next, that is fucking with me and my life??? WHAT WHAT WHAT ??? bring it on, as im gonna teach you what the word suffering actually means ....

what a year ...


:emp: :emp: :emp: :emp: :emp:
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Post by rSin »

hang in there deran!

keep us posted...
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Post by deran »

thx ben

you see i got no othe choices or possibilities, i have to use the time, to make it an affiliate of mine not an enemy ... thats the hard part

my gf said yesterday to me, your leg should be better now after those 6 weeks or so .... and this question is somewhere below my perception, i dont wanna think about that ... i got already friends in wheelchairs , and im not going to be one of those, even if it may hurt ...
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Post by mistergrafik »

Hopefully the pain is not as impacting as it was from your previous post!
Take care of yourself Deran.

Your gf is just pulling your leg... 6 weeks is not a long enough time

Sorry for the pun. I had to do it :smoke:

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Post by deran »

hahaha

thats exacly the treatment i need
make fun of me, i can lough about myself

thx lol :)
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Post by rSin »

some theory on that florida building colapse...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnRxTW8GxT8
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